Weight Loss Journey - October 2017

October 28, 2017

UPDATE
The good thing about depression is it is a definite red flag that something has to change.

After prayer, a willingness to change and a great deal of soul searching I have come to this conclusion... I have spent over forty years trying to uncover the miracle needed to cure my Circadian Sleep Disorder. I have spent forty years following advice/treatment for my failing health from professionals who have no idea what they are talking about.

SOLUTION
Create my own treatment plan.

PLAN
(1)  Sleep when I can
(1a) Accept that circadian is with me for the duration of my life and deal with it as best I can.

(2) Withdraw from the medications that don't work for me... (a) sleep medication (b) anxiety medication.

(3)  Expand my world... (a) get out of my head... instead of looking for a cure use that time to read how people overcame obstacles in their lives (b) embrace the people in my life (c) join the monthly activities at my apartment complex (d) commit to exercising weekly in the pool.

(4) Focus on getting back my life... (a)  I want to DANCE again... I REALLY miss that (2) The weight loss will happen!

October 10, 2017

Weight Lost: 4 pounds

This is going to be an incredibly LONG weight loss journey.

It has taken me 1 month and 10 days to lose 4 pounds... I am SO DEPRESSED.

Not only the scale results but I am for the first time facing the reality that I AM NOT GOING TO GET BETTER.

The biggest blow came when I saw my daughter sharing an extremely physically active day with her dad and his wife. They all looked so healthy and happy.

Within the same week my sister leaves on a 10-day vacation.

I have NEVER felt so alone and forgotten.

There is a medication made specifically for non-24 hour circadian sleep disorder that my insurance will cover (costs over a $1,000 for 30-day supply without insurance). I CANNOT find a doctor who is familiar with Circadian Sleep Disorder or the medication so the WILL NOT write me a prescription... so this is my life.